Q: My Dad is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Oftentimes the tasks of caretaking are so absorbing that I forget to try to connect with him. How can I find ways to ‘speak his language’ and engage him?
A: As a person in the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease, your father experiences the world through his senses. You can connect with him through his abilities to see, hear, touch, taste and smell.
You can engage him without overwhelming him by choosing an activity that stimulates one of his senses at a time. For example, present him with a colorful scarf, as bright colors are stimulating. He may also enjoy music, the sound of your voice and laughter, or if eating is not difficult for him, he might like tasting a flavorful morsel, like a small piece of chocolate.
Touch is a basic way to connect with him and put him at ease. Even a light massage or hug can help make him feel calmer, less isolated and depressed. If he responds negatively, try giving him a textured piece of fabric or fur to stroke. This often has very comforting effects.
Focusing on what he can do, as opposed to what he can no longer do, will help you interact with the person he is now, and will help both of you keep a more positive outlook.
Every activity that you and your father do together - from reading aloud to looking at a colorful picture book - is an opportunity to engage him, show him that he is loved, and give him a sense of security. Always keep in mind that though his mental capabilities are decreasing, he still has a very wide range of emotions. Taking the time to make him feel loved, valued and safe will improve quality of life for both of you.
For help with this or any other dementia situation or for a list of our services visit our website www.alznyc.org or call our 24-hour helpline: 1-800 272-3900. There is always a caring and informed person at the other end of the line to help you.
- The Alzheimer’s Association, New York City Chapter
If you have a question for the Alzheimer’s Association, New York City Chapter, please send it to Jed Levine at expert@alznyc.org
