Once again, 2009 has been a year from which to learn. I have met many singles at my lectures and many married who wish they were single. There is opportunity almost everywhere to make yourself (myself) a better person.
Here is a sample of what I mean:
When two individuals begin a relationship, you have much to learn . . . everything is new. As you get close in an emotional and/or physical way, one of the two will quickly become more vulnerable, and unfortunately more susceptible to being hurt.
Interestingly enough, age does not matter much. This axiom holds true whether you are 17 or 70!
It is a challenge to find that innocent, and yes, “childlike” love a “second time around.” For most of us (at least, me) the past holds memories of a simpler, gentler time.
Perhaps all the emotional baggage we bring with us as we age “weighs down” the “scale of love.” Do we really gain more wisdom from our experiences? Sometimes I have to seriously wonder.
Many men and women in a relationship tend to compete rather than complement on another. Why? Just as in marriage, think of you and your significant other as members of the same team. There is no “I” in “Together.”
For 2010, I will continue to attempt to attempt to modify my “alpha-dog” mentality with those women I meet. It is a promise I made to myself. Maybe this year I will hold to it. We will see.
It’s not so easy to get a reality TV show on your schedule.
Last year, I sent out a “DVD pilot” titled “Hit The Road Jack” highlighting my personal experiences after divorce. To date, my “Flavor Flav” or “Rock of Love” fame may have to wait a little longer than I anticipated.
If he (or she) is really into you, that person will almost always pick up your phone call, be ready on time, text you right back, or email you minutes later. Everything will be on an “ASAP” basis because you rock his/her world.
And finally. Ladies in 2010, make a promise to yourself: Stop giving out your cell number to men unless you REALLY want them to call you!
And men, many women have a pet peeve about you too. DO NOT ask for a phone number unless you really plan to call her. Fair is fair.
To all my readers, may you have a healthy and happy New Year! Happy Dating!
(EDITOR’S NOTE: Dr. JM Love is the pen name of Professor Jack Mandel of Nassau Community College, a singles expert and consultant on dating.)
