To Give . . .

As the holiday season fades into winter, many are thinking about what they got or didn’t get and who they will share time with.
There are so many places to give, so many things to buy, consume and desire, but what about giving in your relationship?
What can you give to your relationship over the next few weeks that can make a positive impact on your partner, your relationship and your family?
What does your relationship need? Does it need more romance? More intimacy? More friendship? More patience?
Think of this in grander terms, then just what you need in your relationship, but think of what the relationship as a whole needs to be better, stronger, more satisfying and meaningful for each of you.
Then, set about to give your relationship just that. It may mean making sacrifices of your own. It may mean change is necessary and with change often comes fear, but do not let the fear hold you back from making meaningful change.
As an important caveat, this is not about asking your partner to change or do something different. This is your gift. You will do the giving here, but forward this newspaper to your partner and maybe she or he will give too!
Here are five steps to give what is needed to your relationship:
Set the intention to love. Before you begin, set an intention that this is coming from a place of love – love of your partner and love of your relationship. Set aside hostility, disappointment and frustration and look to find the best in your relationship while finding what you can give to it.
Be honest. Sit down and really think about what is missing in your relationship from you and your partner’s perspectives. Write it down.
Ask questions. Reach out to your partner and share with them that you wish to give a gift to your relationship and want to know what his or her perspective is on your relationship needs. Share your ideas and thoughts. Ask what they think you need as well as what they need. Ask questions. Ask for more clarification.
Listen. It may be hard to hear what is lacking in your relationship from your partner, but be open to listening. Allow your partner the freedom to share without reproach. Really hear your partner without thinking about what you are going to say next.
Choose a gift. After thinking, talking and listening, be still and quiet. Let your intuition step in to help choose a gift you would like to give to your relationship. You do not even have to announce it to your partner. You can just make the changes and allow the results to speak for themselves or you can tell your partner what you plan on doing and even ask for their feedback and/or support as you go on to give this gift.
This is a gift that keeps on giving, which means you need to keep on giving it. Keep in mind, it is about small things often. Change does not have to be huge and immediate, but if you keep working towards it with commitment and love, big changes will occur over time.
So don’t wait and get started now! Let me know how it’s going – happy giving.