By Lenore Skenazy
New Yorkers have always had their own slang. We all know that that “coffee regular” means coffee with milk and sugar. A “straphanger” is a subway rider (though, come to think of it, maybe it’s a bus rider, too). And fugheddaboudit is a single word.
But we are clearly overdue for an update. So here is:
New slang for New York
Halal-anon: Meetings for people addicted to lamb over rice.
Quipster: A hipster who lives in Queens.
Tri-asselete: A person who, by a combination of man-spreading, leaning, and glowering, manages to take up three seats on the subway.
Celebate: A person who tries to not spot celebrities.
PPB: Short for “phantom phone booth”—a phone booth with only wires left in it.
High Line Line: A line you are likely to hear on the High Line, e.g., “It’s 7:30 in Milan now.” Or, “I could’ve bought that building for $50,000 in ’78.”
Yellowed Cab: Pre-Uber form of transportation.
Square Knot: A crowd of Times Square tourists trying to cross the street that intersects with a crowd of tourists trying to buy $10 handbags.
Coney-ism: Boardwalk employees who send business to other Boardwalk establishments, e.g., “Now that you’ve had a hot dog, maybe it’s time for a ride on the Cyclone.”
NO-DOZ: (Acronym) The neighborhood Near Or Directly Opposite Zabar’s.
NO-DOZ BRONX: The neighborhood Near Or Directly Opposite Zoo.
Blunch: Brunch that commences at or past lunch time.
Tramelot: Nickname reflecting Camelot-like hopes for new Cornell Tech campus on Roosevelt Island.
Churisma: The irresistible allure of a giant pile of churros.
Ferry Godfather: A Mafia don who lives on Staten Island.
Cartio Workout: The exercise one gets walking over to the hot dog cart.
Bubblestone: Street or sidewalk littered with bubble-shaped tops of Frappucino cups.
Lost and Lost: The MTA’s Lost and Found booth.
Late Bloomers: Buildings and projects begun in Bloomberg era only now reaching completion.
A-Riguez: The side of A-Rod we didn’t see until now.
Cataclysmic Climate Change: The act of entering a freezing subway car from sweltering platform, or vice versa.
Tube Jobs: A street fair job, e.g., selling tube socks.
Loughnut: The lone doughnut left on a doughnut cart.
Speed Lump: A person standing on the left side of the escalator unaware that that side is reserved for people walking.
Mister Loudee: Any ice cream truck that plays music.
Horse Shoo: Nickname for Mayor de Blasio’s initiative to rid Central Park of carriages.
Sick Passenger: Joking euphemism for lame excuse, e.g., “I wanted to get to your opening, but there was a sick passenger.” Or, “A sick passenger ate my homework.”
Eva-lution: The gradual switch from traditional to charter schools, often aided by Eva Moskowitz.
Mondo Condo: Nickname for Long Island City.
Shadowfreud: To feel pleasure in knowing a friend’s luxury apartment will soon to be in the shadow of an even more luxurious building.
Smidgeon: A small pigeon.
Lenore Skenazy is a keynote speaker and the author and founder of the book and blog Free-Range Kids.
