A steaming Bayside man took to social media to “espresso” his dissatisfaction with an American coffee company, and hilarity ensued.
In a post on the official Starbucks Facebook page, lactose-intolerant Demit Strato, who works at Northern Boulevard’s Jam Juice Vape Shop, said his coffee break turned into a coffee breakdown when his request for soy milk went ignored and regular milk was poured at his regular Starbucks close by.
Writing “from the comfort of [his] toilet,” Strato launched into a comical tirade that has attracted over 36,000 shares, 112,000 comments and nearly 500,000 reactions.
“I’ve pooped 11 times since the A.M. My bottom hurts from all the wiping. Do you think I enjoy soy milk? Does anyone enjoy soy milk?,” Strato writes, who later points out that he is “not a Charmander,” a fire-type Pokemon.
“I don’t order soy milk because I’m bored and want my drink order to sound fancy. I order soy milk so that my bottom doesn’t blast fire for 4 hours,” he continues.
Starbucks did not respond publicly to the thread. However, other media outlets reported that Strato was offered a $50 gift card by the coffee chain for his troubles.
Read Strato’s post in its entirety by clicking here.