Kenneth Kowald

Just before the Civil War began, if I am correct, Horace Greeley, the founder and editor of The New York Tribune and an outspoken anti-slavery advocate, wrote something along these lines:

“Let the erring sisters depart in peace.” That went nowhere, of course.

That terrible war supposedly “re-united” the nation. But, are we really the United States of America?

Look around.

Is New England anything like the Deep South in politics and policies?

Is the West Coast like the Southern East Coast in politics and policies?

How about those states in the middle of the nation? Are they blue? Are they red? Are they purple?

Maybe it is time to consider the possibility that the United States of America might be better off if it split into two or more nations.

The Confederate States of America (“The South Will Rise Again!”) can go their way and pick up others along the way. The rest of us in the rejuvenated United States of America could do the same.

You and I, as New Yorkers, would not have to put up with states in our nation which exhibit all the stupidities of anti-science, anti-government, anti-women, pro-attack guns in every venue, anti anyone who looks or thinks or speaks differently from the rulers of those communities. They can continue to go their way to perdition and leave us to try to sort out how a democracy can really function in the 21st century and beyond.

And, hey! Texas might even become its own nation again. Wouldn’t that be something? It might get up its own army and navy and air force and make sure that those permitted to vote are certainly going to “do it the right way” or not get to the polls at all. It would be a example of recessive action for other states to follow. James Richard Perry could have his dream come true: He could be the President of the Republic of Texas.

Oops! Rick may have a problem, unless this all gets done quickly. We have a president who was a junior senator from Illinois when he was promoted. Another junior senator, this one from Texas, figures he might be able to do the same thing in 2016. Rick is some 20 years older than TC and he certainly cannot compete on the academic level. TC was graduated cum laude from Princeton and magna cum laude from Harvard Law School. TC can be spurned in a few years, but he has time on his side. The only thing that might stop him is a chronic case of laryngitis.

Wait a minute! Aren’t those places he attended two of those East Coast “elite and effete” schools? And the Tea Party adores TC? Look out! He may have been brainwashed and perhaps cannot be trusted, unlike good ol’ Rick. No scholar he!

Of course, all of this will take time. And, it should be amicable.

I would assume that all the states of the old confederacy, of which I believe there were 11, would be in favor. Eight of them might pause, however, since, according to the latest information I was able to find, they are regularly getting more money from the federal government than they are sending to the government and that has been the case for decades. All of them (surprise!) are Republican states. You and I are helping to pick up their tabs every day.

Nevertheless, others might join — or not. For example, Alaska might declare itself a nation (one with a view of Russia, remember) and SP, with all her political and personal baggage, could vault into the position of president, czarina, premier, dictator or whatever pleases her at the moment. I’d go for empress and perhaps a Catherine the Great hairstyle. That could be fun.

Comparisons are odious, especially when it comes to SP. She had to go to five colleges before getting a degree. Catherine, as we know, was someone who could spend time with Voltaire and not be out of place.

Now, clearly, the map of the new countries might show some gaps between borders — like the old Polish Corridor to East Prussia. But, good friends could work that out, even if it meant visas, including, in the new confederacy, those approved only by a secret court, so as to avoid fraud — of course. And, both countries (if not more) would be subject to those in the world who watch out for human rights violations. Guess where they might spend most of their time? If they would be allowed in.

Imagine the work and money that could be put into building border fences between the new nations! Good fences make good neighbors, right?

The rest of the world would soon learn to deal with these new countries. It would mean field days, months and years for politicians, accountants, bankers and lawyers and might even mean the true end of the Great Recession, thanks to all that money floating around. At least for the one percenters and their friends.

The possibilities are mind-boggling. The new Republic of Texas might decide to invade Mexico and annex some land.

Worth trying, I believe. Depending, of course, on how the Tea Party feels about it.

Our late wonderful friend, who was a political district leader in Flushing, had, as readers of my column and blog know, many cogent comments about politics. One of his favorites —and he was liberal — was saying of those who believed fully in their own superior importance and knowledge, “I’m a liberal and I’m against it!”

The Tea Party has reached that point. I would imagine there might be large emigrations to the new confederacy for those who find the Union — and unions — to be the cause of all the world’s troubles. I would suggest that they be given one-way tickets only and be subject to all the conditions immigrants from other countries are now subject to, if they wish to return, even for a visit. And, they could not use their Confederate money in Union States.

As a consequence of their giving up their USA citizenship, I would make sure that, while they might have other rights, they could never again become citizens of the United States of America. We can get to their children born here at another time, as the nations negotiate between or (if more than two) among themselves. Who needs a Dream Act anyway?

Let’s get started! This will take a long time. After all, the Civil War is not really over, is it?

But, won’t it be worth it to have some new nations? I can hardly wait.

One of the first things the new United States of America could do is make Lincoln’s birthday a national holiday — at last. It would say much about how we look at the world and how the world sees us in the new United States of America.

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