By Stanley P. Gershbein
This year my New Year’s column was so long I had to cut it into two. Even with that I still had so many notes left over on items that are worth mentioning. Here’s one. During The very last week of the year an American President passed away and a ruthless Iraqi scum dictator was executed. I was a bit disturbed to find that saddam hussein received as much attention in the press and on the tube as President Gerald Ford. Something’s wrong with this picture. Republican or Democrat, liked him or not, President Ford is worthy of the respect due him as a former CEO of the United States. And saddam? Enough already, Stanley. The man is dead. Say something about him that’s good. “OK. The man is dead. That’s good.” Here’s another: 2006 was the year that, after being rejected by his party in the primary, Senator Joe Lieberman ran as an Independent and won big. His popularity is great with both Republicans as well as the many Democrats who did vote for him. This may sound crazy but – maybe the Democrats should have had him in the top slot and whatsisname, you know who – the chubby guy with the global warming shtick– as his running mate. Hmmm. As of right now there is a groundswell movement to push Al Gore into the race as a candidate for the presidency in 2008. I am not a fan of Gore but then again, I am not a fan of Senator Hillary Chicken Ca-ca either. I know it will never happen (or will it?) but if it ever came down to a choice between the two and I was one of those who are forced to make a decision I would hold my nose and vote for Big Al. That, my friends, is the way it will be if and when she’s up for the nomination. She’s loved by some and hated by others. Voters will vote FOR her or AGAINST her no matter who runs in opposition. ******** I finally got around to taking Samantha, my beautiful, talented, very smart six-year old granddaughter to see Happy Feet. She knew it was make-believe because it was a story about penguins. I also knew it was fiction but because of a very different reason. I knew it was make believe because near the end the penguins are saved by the United Nations and I can’t remember any time the United Nations saved anything. Oh. I take that back. Some very heavy hitters in the United Nations saved the money it embezzled. It saved it in Swiss bank accounts. ******** Last year I wrote about the war on terror, Iraq, the death penalty, immigration, politics, entertainers, food, holidays, religion, taxes, and …..I’m sure there are more than just a few things I omitted. The following is just an interesting observation. I receive loads of mail. The one topic that I received more comments on than any other was my segment about the Brooklyn Dodgers. ******** I tried. I really tried. I gave it every effort. I even drank two cups of strong black coffee. It didn’t help. No matter what I did I still fell asleep while watching golf on TV. I’m sure that millions of you love it but to me there is nothing on the tube that is more boring. I don’t bother with Ambien or Lunesta. Can’t sleep? I tune on golf. ******** We have all witnessed the following scene in movies: the authorities are in a high-speed chase with a boat suspected of carrying contraband. Knowing that they’ll be caught the bad guys toss the evidence overboard. Every thinking mind in the audience is now asking, “What will happen to those wet boxes?” In the flicks the coast guard always manages to pick up those white cartons. They next appear in the final scene of the story that very often takes place in a courtroom. In real life those cartons float around for years and years. About a month ago, Captain Tony Rode of the Hollywood Florida Police Department was walking along the beach when he spotted one of those cartons being washed up on the sand. He said that this particular bundle had been floating around for quite some time because there were barnacles growing on the cellophane wrap. After examination it was revealed that this package contained thirty-seven kilos of cocaine worth about half a million dollars. The story of this find was broadcast and within one hour of the airing many hundreds of beach goers appeared on Hollywood beach with telescopes, nets, ropes and a lot of patience. As of right now no second box was discovered there, however, at about the same time, one hundred and sixty miles north, in the Melbourne area, two women out for a stroll on Floridana Beach found a package containing twenty-five kilos of coke. They, of course, turned the drugs over to the authorities. We have to wonder how many containers are not. One of the hottest Christmas gift items on the east coast of Florida this year was the sale of binoculars. Anybody wonder why? ******** And finally, as a public service, I would like to introduce you to 1-800-FREE411. No gimmicks. No tricks. No shticks. It’s a real telephone information service that gets you the phone numbers you need, FREE. That’s Free as in no charge, gratis, bupkis, nada, complimentary, at no cost, on the house. Free. They tell you up front that before you are given the number you must listen to a very short commercial, about 15 seconds long, from one of the advertisers who are paying for this service. Other than the cell phone minutes that you are obligated to pay for, there is no cost. I am STANGERSHBEIN@BELLSOUTH.NET telling you that this is a real money saver. Try it. You’ll see. ******** All letters and Emails are the property of this newspaper and may be published. For verification purposes all correspondence must contain your real name, address and telephone number.
