By Alex Berger
Every night Gerard would walk to the supermarket to buy a six-pack. He’d bring it home and drink it while watching TV.
One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. Gerard stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The overgrown Blatta Orientalis (cockroach family) grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, and left.
The next night, after Gerard finished his fourth beer, the doorbell rang again. He walked apprehensively to the door and found the same six-foot insect standing there. This time, the arthropod punched him in the eye and left.
The third night Gerard didn’t drink at all. The doorbell rang again. The same six-foot creature was standing there. This time the giant bug hit Gerard in the solar plexus and left once again.
The following day, Gerard went to the police and reported the events of the preceding three nights. “What can 1 do?” he pleaded. “Not much,” the sergeant replied. “It’s just a nasty bug going around.”
I know that laughter — even from corny jokes — works miracles. I told this story to a hospitalized friend and his face lit up instantly as he smiled throughout my visit.
Marriage counselors agree — they see laughter as a therapeutic tool. Troubled couples are asked whether there is anything about their mates that makes them laugh. If the spouse begins to smile, reconciliation has begun.
The inclusion of humor as part of emotional and physical healing emerged as a concrete part of treatment in the 1970s. Hospitals, therapists, counselors, and spiritual leaders are finding that it is one of the most precious and effective forms of medicine.
Health professionals say there are six aspects to consider when it comes to wellness — mental, social, physical, emotional, spiritual, and environmental. It is very difficult to address one without touching upon the others. Humor and laughter affect all six areas. It is an extraordinary gift we give ourselves and the people around us, and it makes us feel better.
I believe that some good belly laughs are equal to jogging a mile. Research confirms that people who use humor as a coping mechanism will find they are less fatigued, slower to anger, and less depressed. This no-cost medicine lowers the blood pressure, exercises and relaxes muscles, and is good for the cardiovascular system. Laughter releases endorphins which help us mentally and physically. It is also a good way to stand back and look in at ourselves.
There is a story of a man who is able to keep his humor and positive attitude amid very trying circumstances. His philosophy is simple: When he gets up in the morning, he has two choices. He can either be sad about his condition or he can be happy. He chooses to make the day happy.
Laughter helps make the latter choice. Don’t take yourself or your problems too seriously.
Researchers have gathered a wealth of information to make humor and laughter work as a healing tool. Some pointers are: Know what makes you laugh. Don’t wait for humor to come to your door; find something to laugh about or someone to laugh with. Make laughter last. It is not written that you have to be very sad or stay sad. Surround yourself with humor. There is happiness to be found somewhere every day. If you can’t physically bring the humor to your home or office, keep it in your head Remember, nobody can ever take away your happiness but you.
Of course, laughing does not instantly cure every disease or every emotional wound. But it certainly can change the perspective.
With that in mind, I want to leave you laughing.
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
All right, what about this one: It was a terrible night — there was a cold wind and it was raining in a most frightful manner. The streets were deserted and the local baker was just about to close up shop when a man, soaked to the skin slipped through the door. He carried an umbrella blown inside out, and was bundled in two sweaters and a thick coat. But even so, he still looked wet and bedraggled. As he unwound his scarf he said to the baker, “May I have two bagels to go, please?” The baker asked in astonishment, “Two bagels? Nothing more?” “That’s right,” answered the man. “One for me and one for Beryl.” “Beryl is your wife?” asked the baker. “What do you think,” snapped the man, “my mother would send me out on a night like this?”
Try this one: A termite walks into the neighborhood saloon and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Here’s the last one (I promise): There was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. This highly classified position was very difficult to fill. Much testing and background checks were involved before a candidate could even be considered. The choice was finally narrowed down to one man and one woman. The day came for the final test. The CIA examiner took the man through a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances,” he explained. “Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The shocked man took the gun and entered the room. All was quiet for 5 minutes, then the door opened. The man came out with tears in his eyes, and said, “I tried to shoot her, but I just could not pull the trigger.” “Well,” replied the CIA man, “you are definitely not right for the job.”
Now they were down to the woman. They led her to the same door, handed her the same gun, and. gave her the same instructions. “Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair,” she was told. “Take this gun and kill him.” The woman took the gun and entered the room. Before the door closed, 13 shots were heard. There was screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. Then all was quiet. The door slowly opened and out stepped the woman who was wiping sweat from her brow. “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair!”
Keep smiling!
Reach columnist Alex Berger by e-mail at timesledger@aol.com or call 229-0300, Ext. 139
