By Alex Berger
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, and no birds hath the month of November. (To brighten the image of the month, an extra holiday should be added.)
As my readers know, I am this newspaper’s holiday man. From January through December, I devote several columns to the major holidays, as well as to some minor ones. Who can ever forget my tear-jerking column on Arbor Day a few years ago? Everyone certainly loves holidays.
Take my cousin, Sheldon. He is a happy-go-lucky guy who works very hard observing every holiday in every country, listed in the world’s calendars — all 365 days of them. He has such an enjoyable time doing this that many of his neighbors (and I) are tempted to join him.
But, of course, duty prevents us; however, one more holiday would soothe the savage beast that lurks in our chests, yearning to be on the golf course, the tennis court, or just lying prone on the living room couch. So, to keep it happy, I strongly urge that one more annual holiday be designated, and it should fall in November. “Why in November?” you curiously ask. “Why not?” I answer.
I know that November already is blessed with three major holidays — Election Day, Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, and most of us are given the three days off from work — but we want one more. So, just last week, following a very hectic day at the office, I racked my brain, studying the problem.
I then realized that whatever Sheldon, his neighbors and Alex want, everyone else wants, and we all want it now! With that truism out of the way, a second problem arises: What historical event could we celebrate in November?
What about Gloria’s birthday on Nov. 12? She is a good wife, a great mother and a greater grandmother and, as an early childhood educator, she makes the world a better place by teaching children to be “mensches,” one student at a time. More importantly, she makes a mean chicken soup.
On the same day we celebrate “Pudge” Heffelfinger who, in 1892, became the first professional football player to get paid. Think of it, two observances for the price of one; however, after much thought, I turned thumbs down on the two choices.
First, no one should make a holiday after a living person, even Gloria. And, second, naming a holiday after a professional football player is out of the question. Think of all the bored wives who sit alone every football Sunday as their husbands and sons trek to the stadiums, or sit glued to the TV, to watch the Jets or the Giants play football. Do I want another civil war on my hands? Not on your bippy!
How about Nov. 14, 1889? It was the day when reporter Nellie Bly set out to travel around the world in less than 80 days and she did it in 72? No. I guess not. Not enough pizzazz in that pick. Then there is Mickey Mouse’s birthday (his 64th) on Nov. 18. No. Who would want to celebrate the birthday of a decrepit mouse who was long in the tooth? Not me.
I also thought about several others, such as the completion of the White House on Nov. l, 1800; the birth of James Naismith, the inventor of basketball, on Nov. 6, 1861; the opening of the Suez Canal on Nov. 17, 1869; the delivery of Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address on Nov. 19, 1863; and the day George Hancock hit a boxing glove with a broomstick on Nov. 30, 1887 and invented softball. No, no, no, no and especially no. So, it is back to the drawing board for me. Think, Alex, think.
I immediately put on my thinking cap, my logic cap and my Giants cap, and researched a little deeper. Suddenly, voila — the logical holiday appeared out of the blue. We will celebrate “Evacuation Day.”
“What,” you ask, “is Evacuation Day?” No, it wasn’t the day that Angelina Jolie left Billy Bob Thornton. It was that very important day on Nov. 25, 1783 when the British forces evacuated dear old Queens and the rest of New York City, after the end of the Revolutionary War.
This welcomed departure of the British is commemorated in other parts of the original colonies, most notably in Boston, where the British withdrawal is marked on March 17; however, the festivities in that heavily Irish city often are overshadowed by the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. It was pointed out that Evacuation Day was a big event in the early 1800s, and was almost as important as July 4.
The British evacuation was of major significance in Queens following the end of the Revolutionary War, with the signing of the Treaty of Paris by the Americans, Britain, and three countries that fought the British in the colonies and elsewhere: Holland, France, and Spain.
Queens was occupied by the British during the Revolution. They used the county for winter bivouacking, supply storage, and jumping off bases for attacking Americans. The residents were (heavens to Betsy) mostly Tories, on the side of King George, and often hampered the activities of the patriotic rebels.
Now I know one reason why Seinfeld never steps foot in Queens. The British left their allies, the Tories, alone while confiscating the property and assets of Queens rebels. The Tories took advantage also, helping themselves to their patriotic neighbors’ goods.
The British delayed the evacuation of Queens to give the Tories time to get out when they realized they were going to lose the war. They offered free passage to any Tory who wanted to leave and set up a refuge in Nova Scotia, Canada. Do you think that is how my favorite Italian dish, “Chicken cacc-I-TORRI,” got its name? The traitors ran away like fleeing chickens.
The main British garrison was in the Jamaica area. They marched away in November 1783, along Woodside Avenue and over a route that now is the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, to Bushwick, Brooklyn, accompanied by many Tories. A ship awaited them in Manhattan.
Manhattan itself was evacuated on Nov. 25. With all these evacuations, don’t you agree that this momentous event certainly warrants holiday status?
So, I hereby encourage you to immediately contact your Queens political representatives, your state representatives, your federal representatives, the Sons and Daughters of the American Revolution, your notary public and especially Charlton Heston, and anyone and everyone (with the exception of the British Embassy) who can help make my suggestion a reality.
So, puhleeze, evacuate yourselves from your TVs and get busy. I need another vacation. Don’t you?
Reach columnist Alex Berger by e-mail at timesledger@aol.com or call 229-0300, ext. 140.
