By Carmine Santa Maria
Now that we’re into the New Year, let’s hope that all the problems and troubles we’ve endured in 2006 are over. I for one hope that the city doesn’t use new technology to harass, fine and summons the poor hardworking, continually taxed, taxpaying citizens and homeowners who haven’t fled Brooklyn. And that we all can keep up with the new (soon old) technology that boggles the mind. It’s amazing what technological advances occur day by day. By the time an electronic product hits the market, it’s already obsolete. That’s why I use the term new-soon old technology. We have computers building computers. We have plasma TVs that make any room into a theater. We have automobiles that park themselves. We have computers that respond to your voice. Take the new craze of amazing digital cameras that are so small, so complete and yet easily fit into a pack of cigarettes. With the line of inexpensive photo printers available, Polaroid cameras will soon become obsolete. Once we had been limited to the number of flashbulbs that were available for the film. Hold on a minute! Film? Flashbulbs? These have become archaic words for products that will cease to exist. My new (soon old) Canon 630 that I got for Christmas is smaller than four flashbulbs. Remember the ‘40s and ‘50s movies where the photographers carried huge cameras and pockets full of flashbulbs? Nowadays, a digital camera with a 2 gb card can literally take thousands of photos, as long as the battery lasts (which incidentally is rechargeable). And whenever I carry my camera with me, I have hundreds of pictures to show off my grandchildren on a three-inch screen. Huge video cameras that once contained VCR tape within are a fraction of the size. And talk about VCRs — that technology has rapidly been replaced with the CDs and DVDs. Want a bargain? Buy a 24-inch TV with a VCR and DVD player all in one for $238. Because everybody has lots of VCR tapes that will go to rot if your VCR breaks down and they won’t be making any new ones. Once I paid more than $238 just for a VCR player alone; DVD players came onto the market relatively inexpensive so as to induce you to change over to DVDs that were so much smaller than the bulky VCR tapes. The futuristic world of tomorrow that we saw in the comics and movies when we were young has arrived with greater technology that we could ever imagine. The latest technology released this week by Brown University has computers working by thought. Global Position Systems (GPS) will be standard equipment in our cars and is available on our cell phones. The James Bond movies always showed the newest gimmicks and technology so we have become accustomed to not be surprised at anything new anymore. Yet there are old-timers who still refuse to come into the computer age. They want less buttons to push and fewer features on whatever they buy. Where once hospitals had x-rays taken, now have those very same x-rays available on any computer in the hospital. Those same old folks who don’t want to come into the modern era, however, finally did accept refrigerators over ice boxes because they were forced to, and are learning to use microwave ovens. Learning to use a computer is not that hard. Once you get the hang of it, a whole new world is open to you. Fortunately our schools are now teaching our children. We should make the same effort to teach our senior citizens, who have the time to learn and will keep their minds active and knowledgeable. As for me, I love my tiny Canon 630 camera that can take video clips, too. It was one of my best Christmas presents. The other presents I received that were unique were a bottle of Zorro after-shave lotion with a big Z on the bottle and a surprise gift from a reader who had her artist son Derek Ostrander render a watercolor of Zorro with the likeness taken from this column’s photo. I liked it so much I scanned it and e-mailed it to all my friends as a New Year’s card. For those of you who don’t know my obsession with Zorro, to say I have one would be the understatement of the century. I’ve been a Zorro fanatic ever since The Mark of Zorro starring Tyrone Power. I have two complete Zorro outfits with swords and I collect Zorro memorabilia. Next Christmas, I’m hoping Santa will bring me a black horse with a GPS on the saddle. Happy New Year! Screech at you next year!
