Not too long ago Jay Ixcolin, now 19, had to use a different entrance from other students and leave school earlier for his own safety, all because he was gay.
“As a child growing up from elementary school to 10th grade, I would always be picked on,” said Ixcolin, who attend Forest Hills High School.
Ixcolin knows first hand what might have prompted the recent string of suicides that unfortunately drove at least six teens to take their own life in September. Like Ixcolin, those high school and college students reported chronic harassment and bullying because of their sexual orientation.
The first time he attempted to commit suicide, Ixcolin said he almost threw himself out of a sixth floor window, but his parents stopped him in time. The second time, he tried to overdose on pills, but he was unsuccessful.
That’s when he turned to his school’s Gay Straight Alliance (GSA), a youth leadership organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) students. He said if it wasn’t for his friends who understood him, he probably would not be alive. He confided in them, when his parents, particularly his mom, would not accept his sexual orientation.
“I will always be Jay,” said Ixcolin, who knew he was gay since he was 5, but came out when he was 16. “I just don’t like girls. That’s it.”
On October 14, more than 50,000 students in Queens and Long Island will wear stickers and ribbons to support the ninth annual “Coming Out Day,” organized by the Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY), an affiliate organization of GSA. The organization works with many schools including Cardozo and Bayside High Schools in Queens.
“This year’s campaign is even more significant with all the suicides going on,” said David Kilmnick, CEO of LIGALY. “The goal of the campaign is to speak out about safe communities for LGBT youth in school.”
Councilmembers Daniel Dromm and Jimmy Van Bramer, who are both openly gay, are also shocked and saddened by the recent suicides as a result of LGBT bullying.
“The thing that strikes me the most is that gay youth still feel alone and they don’t have anywhere to turn to if they are gay,” said Dromm, who started the Generation Q Youth Services Program at Queens Community House in Astoria, which serves LGBT youth.
Dromm said that he, along with others members of the City Council, will introduce a resolution to require anti-bullying education in schools.
Both Dromm and Van Bramer recorded videos for the “It Gets Better Project,” a YouTube campaign launched by journalist Dan Savage. Viewers are encouraged to record and upload videos with a positive message for LGBT youth.
“I hope that any young person in my district in Queens,” said Van Bramer, who represents Sunnyside, Woodside, Long Island City, Astoria and Maspeth, “who has been bullied and might feel badly about themselves, we hope that they might be helped.”
Ixcolin agreed that life does get better. Now, he said he is not afraid to show or say he is gay. He even dresses in drag sometimes and has a boyfriend.
He hopes to help other gay teens by organizing a fundraiser to donate money to the Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll free confidential suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth.
“It is not worth it to kill yourself because people don’t want to accept you for who you are,” said Ixcolin, who lives in Kew Gardens. “Look at me now. I love myself.”
