Silent march speaks volumes at QC

About a hundred concerned students, elected officials and others crammed Frese Hall at Queens College (QC) recently, as part of a statewide observance of Domestic Violence Awareness Day.
The conference, on a gray and threatening Wednesday, October 24, was followed by a silent march around the QC quad, to raise awareness about one of the most under-reported violent crimes, and demonstrate solidarity with and support for the 50 percent of domestic violence victims who suffer in silence.
Vicky Nanis, vice-president of the QC Women’s Center introduced various speakers, including Deputy Borough President Karen Koslowitz, Councilmember John Liu and Assemblymembers Audrey Pheffer and Ellen Young.
The areas around the entrance to the building and gathering room were adorned with tee-shirts which were hand-decorated by participants, with pro-victim and anti-violence slogans.
Young, for the first time, publicly confirmed that she was a domestic violence victim. She presented organizers with a signed tee-shirt which proclaimed “I survived so can you,” and in a sometimes-halting voice, related her recollections of being threatened at gunpoint and fleeing to a snowy street in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on her back, fearing for “my babies, who were still in there.”
Young said that she kept silent about her experience while a candidate to avoid the perception of being exploitive, “but now that I am an elected official, it’s time to speak out.” She closed her remarks by saying, “If I can, you can. Please come forward.”
Carmella Marrone, executive director of the QC “Women in Work” program touched on the program’s mission and offerings, warning signs of potential domestic violence and appalling statistics (a third or more of women victims are beaten while pregnant.)
Marrone introduced a participant in her program, Mary Miller, who brought the gathering to an appalled silence, broken by the occasional sniff or sob, as she related her personal horror story.
Miller encapsulated virtually every humiliation, insult and injury a victim suffers, both from the perpetrator and the system, beginning with her own rape at age 13, and how she and her mother were barred from a school hearing for her attacker.
She described abuse at the hands of a “family member,” finding the “man of my dreams” who became a nightmare, getting an “order of protection” and not having the stomach or resources to serve it.
Miller confessed to thoughts of murder, thoughts of suicide and those most dreaded words that finally moved her to liberation: “Mommy, daddy’s been doing things to me.”
She credited QC’s “Women in Work” program for helping her develop both skills and confidence so that she would never again be victimized.
After a circuit of the QC quad, participants returned to Frese Hall, for coffee and conversation. There was little doubt about their tolerance for domestic violence.
None means none.