Unmasked By Time As A Gate Crasher

I became a fully accredited gate crasher (dont call me a freeloader) when I led a class at The Learning Annex in 1998 called, "Gate Crashing 101," (or how to outfox the bouncers). It led to a string of interviews in such media as The New York Times, The London Times, the BBC and the Philadelphia Daily News.
Now crashing the inaugural is no easy trick. W and his friends and family are surrounded by Secret Service. So rule #1 is: dont try to bully your way into the ball for the new first family. My advice as detailed in the January 15 issue of Time is to call the inaugural ball committees PR major-domo and tell him youre a freelance writer and would like to be accredited. Then show up dressed for the party. Dont settle for one gala; ask for invitations to all events. And call a friend. Spouses and dates are welcome.
If that doesnt work you can always show up at the inaugural and claim youre Ws third cousin from Glendale, Queens, and youre not on the A list because of a big mix-up.
You can dismiss gate crashing as a workable avocation, but its worked well for me over the years. My first escapade took place at the Waldorf Towers Hotel when I crashed a cocktail party for then presidential candidate John F. Kennedy by ducking into the same elevator with former Governor Adlai Stevenson. My wife and I snacked on a sumptuous array of canapes while chatting with actress Shelley Winters, Stevenson, former governors, senators and labor leaders. And then that Camelot moment arrived when Jack and Jackie worked the room and we were introduced to them.
But Times article including my photo will change all that. Travel industry gatekeepers will probably post my photo at airline counters and tourism offices and Bobby Valentine will banish me forever from the Met clubhouse. And so I may have taken my last freebie. But it feels good to shed my double life even if I do miss the thrill of those opening nights and the trips to exotic lands.
I still have my Courier press card which will get me into community board meetings, church suppers and an occasional opera at Flushing Town Hall. It just means Ill be more bonded than ever to my favorite borough.