They speak in public spaces,
Oblivious to who is there
Or who their talk debases.
I hear more than I want to know,
I only wish that they would go.
I’d rather face the plague bubonic
Than tangle with a…
By Muriel Lilker
They take their cell phones everywhere
They speak in public spaces,
Oblivious to who is there
Or who their talk debases.
I hear more than I want to know,
I only wish that they would go.
I’d rather face the plague bubonic
Than tangle with a cell-o-phonic!
They’re all over the place. Restaurants. Movie theaters. Trains. Department stores.
They pull out their cell phones at the slightest provocation. Not necessarily because they have something urgent to communicate. But with all those minutes they’ve already paid for, they need to use them up.
So they do. And loudly.
Why is it that people speak more loudly into cell phones than to someone in person? And why do all of us within earshot hear more than we ever wanted to?
Like when I’m lunching with my friend Belinda, and looking forward to hearing how her wrist is healing.
We’ve barely placed our order when a diner in the very next booth shouts into her cell phone “You’re still home? You’re supposed to be here already. I have other things to do too, you know!”
And she does them. This woman doesn’t waste a minute. Instead of just sitting around waiting for her companion, she furiously punches numbers into her cell phone.
“Eloise, it’s me” she shouts. “I had a minute so I thought I’d ask how that black-tie wedding went.”
Not only can’t I hear what Belinda is saying to me, but now I want to know how the wedding went too, and I crane my neck to hear more.
“You wore what?” exclaims our neighbor. “Royal blue is so not your color!”
“Hey,” Belinda says, “I thought you wanted to hear what the doctor said about my wrist.”
I tap her right hand encouragingly, though it turns out it’s the left wrist she broke. “Tell me,” I say, “didn’t you wear royal blue to your son’s wedding?”
What? she cries. “Say, why don’t you just move into the next booth. You can hear her much better from there.”
That’s how I almost lost Belinda for a friend.
Note: It is better not to get hooked on anything cell-phone users are saying. Sometimes, when they notice someone is listening, they lower their voice.
Which is how I got gypped out of hearing where I can get a leather jacket at 70 percent off, or which health spa never to go near, or whose name to mention to get into a hot new restaurant.
Instead, I am besieged with loud complaints of late trains … queries of whether to get a mock or a turtle neck sweater … or more about why someone quit her job than I ever wanted to know.
Listen, it’s not that people shouldn’t be able to use a cell phone if they really have to.
But, please, not near me!
