They're not your typical brothers.
Leonard (Lenny) Waxman, 63, is white, grew up in Brooklyn, and is now a retired electrician from Local 3 living in Electchester. Samuel (Sammy) Williams Jr., 28, is black, grew up Queens Village and Springfield Gardens and is now serving in the army in Baghdad, Iraq.
They met 18 years ago through the Big Brothers Big Sisters Program of New York City and developed a relationship neither one expected to last this long, but one both cherish to this day and vow to continue in the future.
“See, Lenny is not just a Big Brother, he is family by the purest terms,” Williams wrote from Iraq where he is doing his second tour of duty.
FIRST MEETING
Waxman and his wife Iris had been involved with a number of charitable organizations, especially involving children, but 18 years ago he decided to get involved with the Big Brothers Big Sisters Program in the hopes of finding someone he could help.
At the same time, Samuel's mother Mildred Lanham saw a TV commercial for the program and decided to enroll her son, who was 10 at the time, into the Big Brothers Big Sisters.
“I was separated from his father, and he seemed like he needed a male role model to be in his life,” she said.
After Waxman went through questioning and met with representatives from the program, it was time to meet Williams and his mother to see if they could be a good match.
“My first memory of Lenny was when we met,” Williams recounted. “He sure was big and very kind. I was kind of short for my age then.”
During the initial meeting, Williams recalled being asked if he and his mother had a problem with his Big Brother being a different race.
“We both answered ‘it doesn't matter as long as he is a good person,'” Williams said. “With our luck, Lenny entered our picture and was an answer to our prayers.”
GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
After their initial meeting, Waxman and Williams met once a week and did many activities together including going to the movies, children's museums, going out for a bite to eat or attending functions coordinated through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.
Early on, Williams was a little bit shy, but after a while, Waxman said he began to open up and talk about the situations going on in his life.
“Not to say I had such a bad childhood, but there were times when he [Lenny] was the only one in my corner who believed in me,” Williams said. “Lenny is the definition of what a true friend is. He has been at times the closest thing to a father without being blood related.”
Williams' mother immediately knew that her son spending time with Waxman was very helpful.
“I knew they had a special type of relationship,” she said. “My son, he was always eager and ready for when they met up, and he was always very happy when he came back.”
As Williams grew older, the trips became less frequent, but he would often go to lunch or dinner with Waxman and his family - his wife Iris and son Sean, who is 10 years older than Williams.
“I always told my son there's nothing we can't fix or help or turn a negative into a positive,” Waxman said. “That's the way we always thought, and we told Sammy, and I think he saw that.”
JOINING THE MILITARY
Although Williams often struggled in school, he, along with his mother and Waxman, was determined to see himself graduate Francis Lewis High School.
He never aspired to join the military, but while at Francis Lewis he got involved with the Junior ROTC program and met two men in the military who inspired him to join.
“That is when I realized I not only wanted to, but needed to be a soldier,” Williams said. “If not for anyone else, for myself to show myself I have worth.”
After receiving his diploma from Francis Lewis, Williams decided to enlist in the National Guard.
TIME IN IRAQ
Nearly three years ago, while enrolled in the National Guard, Williams' orders took him to Iraq.
“I was very nervous about that,” his mother recalled. “I wasn't too happy about it, but at the same time, I couldn't express any kind of fears to him to make him feel like he is causing some kind of harm or worry on me.”
After spending nearly a year in Iraq, Williams returned to the United States and those close to him noticed some differences.
“He came back much more of a gentleman,” Waxman recalled after seeing Williams after his first tour of duty in Iraq. “He seems more appreciative of being here [in the U.S.].”
After spending some time at home, Williams made a decision to enlist in the Army; increasing his chances of returning to Iraq sooner than if he had decided to remain in the National Guard.
“He feels like this is something he needs and wants to do,” his mother said. “He feels he is a single person with no kids and he would rather be there than someone who has a family.”
After joining the Army and spending time in Germany and Kuwait, Williams' orders took him back to Iraq, this time in Baghdad, with the 1st Squad 1st Platoon as part of the 1-18th Infantry.
Williams said recently from Baghdad that oftentimes his responsibilities include driving a Humvee or being a gunner.
“It's kind of like sitting on pins and needles seeing so many bad things happening to our boys over there,” Waxman said. “You dodge bullets the first time, how much luck do you have?”
Although his responsibilities often put him in danger, Williams finds time to email his family and friends in order to let them know he is safe and to update them on his situation. In fact, he even found time to send Waxman and his wife Iris an anniversary present from Iraq last month.
“It makes me feel really warm inside that even though he is in that situation he still has time to remember [us],” Waxman said.
As the violence in Iraq has increased during Williams' second tour of duty, he said it is impossible for it not to have an impact on him.
“To say I have not changed I would need to have my eyes wired shut,” Williams said. “I just try to change for the [best] in a positive way. I want to be a better human being than when I came in to the military.”
THE FUTURE
Although Williams believes he will continue to serve in the military for about 10 more years, he has also resurrected an interest in writing poetry, which he began doing in high school. He has written hundreds of poems while in Iraq, and after his career in the military, he aspires to become a writer.
When Williams and Waxman first met through the Big Brother Big Sister Program, everyone hoped that the pairing would work out, and they could connect for a year or two, but their relationship has gone much further.
“He starts becoming part of your family, and then you are supposed to say get lost, no, you can't do that, so we just continued our relationship,” Waxman said.
While Williams is spending his Thanksgiving in Baghdad, thinking about what he is thankful for, he talks about looking forward to some rest and relaxation when his tour is finished, and one of the first people he wants to see is Waxman and his family.
“The Waxmans have opened their heart, and even their home to me,” Williams said. “There is nothing I could do in this world or the next to ever pay them back.”
EDITORS NOTE: If you are interested in finding out more about the Big Brothers Big Sisters Program please go to www.bigsnyc.org or call 212-686-2042.
