By Alex Berger
But they face a unique dilemma. Although they may have been born 40 years ago, they will be celebrating their 10th birthday. Are they 10 or 40? For their quadrennial birthday, should they invite mature baby boomer friends who closely match their physical ages or invite sub-teen hip-hop friends who match their calendar age? Thankfully, I am not faced with this problem, but my erstwhile, perennial fellow columnist, Ron Hellman, who will be celebrating his 15th birthday on Feb. 29, is at home right now biting his nails to the nub, trying to find an answer to this predicament.On this Leap Day child's first birthday, he looked at his newly arrived, wrinkled brother and said, “So this is why Mom hid him under her coat for so long.” “Hey, what's with the extra day in February?” you wisely ask? Simply put, you don't want to know. There is simply no simple answer. But being the know-all I am, I will tell you. First, grab a pencil and notebook, listen intelligently and be ready for a bumpy ride. But before I explain the whys and wherefores of our present Gregorian calendar (the standard calendar throughout most of the world), travel back with me thousands of years, to the Julius Caesar era (yes, he's the same bloke the salad was named after). He was the!@#$% culprit behind Ron's problems. On this Leap Day child's third birthday, his parents told him about the birds and the bees. Now he wants to be told about Angelina Jolie. In 45 B.C., when John McCain was just a pup, the early Romans had a 355-day, Leap-Year-less, calendar, and to keep festivals occurring around the same season each year, a 22- or 23-day month was created every second year. This Leap Day wife proposed to her sweetheart during a leap year. On her seventh birthday, her husband, who had forgotten, said, “How do you expect me to remember your birthday, darling, when you are a Leap Day person and you never age?”Ol' Julie decided to simplify things. He added more days to different months of the year to create the 365-day calendar. The actual calculations were made by his hilarious astronomer, Hillarious Clinton. Every fourth year following the 28th day of Februarius, one day was added, making for a Leap Day on Feb. 29. To complicate (or simplify) the process further, Pope Gregory XIII refined the calendar with the rule that Leap Day would occur in any year divisible by four. On this Leap Day married man's 10th birthday, he discovered that he had reached the age when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.Do I mind if the actual length of a year is 365.242, and not 365 days? No! Wouldn't it be simply grand, at times, to celebrate the Fourth of July in the dead of winter and Giants football games in broiling summers? At least I wouldn't have to wear those itchy long johns. On this Leap Day middle-aged man's 15th birthday, his wife gave him the book, “The Joy of Sex,” but he said, “Can't I just watch Jay Leno instead?”One exception to the leap year rule involves century years (like the year 1900). Since the year is slightly less than 365.25 days long, resulting in three extra days being added over a period of 400 years, then as every school boy knows, only one out of every four century years is considered a leap year. Get it? Got it? Good! Century years are only considered as leap years if they are evenly divisible by 400 and É readers, I am turning myself into a pretzel. Now I am sorry you asked. I'll continue this subject at a later date – February 29, 2012. Mark your calendars. On this Leap Day senior's 20th birthday, he moved to Florida and every time he heard an ambulance go by, he knew another prune had been pitted.There is only about one in a 1,500 chance of a person being born on Leap Day, and only 187,000 Americans and 4 million people worldwide are Leap Day people. So, if you want to save money on buying birthday presents for your children, arrange for them to be born on Feb. 29.Leap Day people, if you enjoy your status and if you want to stay forever young, remember to live modestly, get lots of sleep, work hard and invite both young and mature guests to your birthday celebration.On a positive note, the Leap Day will give everyone 24 more hours to get things done, and I am flying to Australia to gain another day. Readers, come join me.
