Reduce School Stress

BY BARBARA GREENSTEIN, Ph.D. – Deputy Executive Director of Queens Child Guidance Center
Getting your child ready to go back to school after a summer of fun is never easy. The Queens Child Guidance Center (QCGC), was established in 1953 to promote the emotional well-being of children and their families, at community and school-based sites, and serves more than 12,000 Queens children and their families annually, is here to help! The QCGC has called upon its expert, Barbara Greenstein, Ph.D., Deputy Executive Director of Queens Child Guidance Center, to provide you with some tips to make the transition a bit less stressful for you - and your child:
Always be positive and enthusiastic about the start of school. It is a new beginning. A very good approach is to say something like &#8220I am so proud that you passed your last grade and are moving ahead in school. You are really so grown up!”
Give your child a count down to the start of school.
It is always good to get a sense of how your child feels about returning to school or starting a new school. A good way to open a dialogue about this is to ask your child, &#8220What are you most looking forward to in school this year?”
For the positive responses, join in their excitement, for example, &#8220Yes, this year you can try out for a sports team.”
For negative replies, it is important to get your child to talk about his/her worries. If he/she expresses a minor concern like &#8220I dread having to get up early,” a simple response like &#8220I'll personally wake you until you get used to it,” will be adequate.
For more serious worries like &#8220I am afraid of the class bully who picks on me,” a number of talks and reassurances may be required, such as &#8220If you are bothered, I will get involved in a way that will protect you.” For children who refuse to go to school because of such fears, professional support may be needed.
For young children who are just starting school be sure to give yourself a little extra time to help your child get comfortable at drop off time. Adjusting to separating from you may take some time.
Never sneak out because you feel that saying goodbye will further upset your child. Your child will have greater difficulty overcoming fears of separation and become clingier if he/she thinks you &#8220disappear.” Always say goodbye with a hug and a reminder that you will be back at 3 o'clock to pick them up. The idea that Mommy/Daddy always comes back is the key to coping with separation.
When children are struggling with separation, giving them a photo of you or a small possession of yours to take with them to school can increase their comfort level. This will help your child feel that a little &#8220piece of you” is with them all day.
Make going to school special by making a special breakfast, buying your child something new to wear, or providing a new pen or backpack. Be sure your child gets plenty of sleep.
Be sure to wish your child a great day at school and discuss how the day went when they return home.
Your interest and involvement in your child's education is essential to his/her interest and success in school. Don't forget to feel proud of yourself for your child's achievements!
The Queens Child Guidance Center mission is to promote the emotional well-being of children and their families. We counsel children, adolescents, and parents with problems such as adjusting to life in a new country, depression, acting out behavior and substance use. We intervene to protect children from abuse and neglect. Our bilingual and bicultural staff collectively speaks more than 30 languages.