Cupid’s arrow touched a distinct bicultural pair and resulted in a couple’s 49 year union.
Roberto Mak, 77, born in China, left his country to move to Cuba.
“China’s economy was behind, so I had to leave in order to find another life, new horizons,” Mak said.
He worked at a restaurant where he first saw Caridad Coki, 63, born in Havana, Cuba, of Chinese descent. The 14-year-old was a frequent customer.
“My father worked at the market and since I did not want to cook by myself, I would go to the restaurant and buy food there,” said Coki.
Coki, president of the senior advisory council at Elmhurst Jackson Heights Senior Center, recalled that Mak, 28, began to court her, but she hesitated due to the differences in age.
“They taught me that a man is fire and a woman is burlap, and when combined flames occur,” Coki said. “Also, he doubled me in age and people talked.”
But after a five year courtship there was a Coki-Mak wedding in 1967.
“At that time, Cuba triumphed in the revolution and wanted to abolish all that was communism, all that was religion,” Coki said. “So we got married with a simple civil wedding.”
According to Coki, after a grueling process with Cuban laws they were able to immigrate to the United States. They have been residing in Jackson Heights for 25 years, raised four children, two from Mak’s previous relationship, and endowed with eight grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren.
“We came to the United States without anything, but it’s not the material things,” said Coki. “You have to be together, especially in this country.”
The Mak’s noted they have been by each other’s side in sickness and in health – from Coki’s survival of a lymphatic tumor to her battle with epilepsy to Mak’s open heart surgery.
“There is not a day, I have not been by her side,” said Mak.
Mak noted that dedication and love is the key to marriage.
“Communication, understanding, and love, that is important, you have to learn to respect each other’s space,” said Mak.
Coki added forgiveness is also paramount.
“Man makes a woman and a woman makes a man,” Coki said. “But when you rub two stones together, fire ignites, so when he gets upset, sometimes I step to the side and forgive.”
