The Stimulus Package and The Shark Cage

In one of the great climactic scenes of my all-time favorite movie, Jaws, the Orca is sinking fast, and Chief Brody, Hooper and Quint are about to become shark food. It‘s then Hooper suggests he put his shark cage in the water. Brody mocks him and says, “That shark will rip that cage to pieces.” Hooper roars in return, “YOU GOT ANY BETTER SUGGESTIONS?”
Welcome to the stimulus package!
So now we know the details. A dollar here and a pork project there, and soon you’re talking real money!
Imagine spending 786 billion (the number changes daily) on something you have no idea will work.
Go into a showroom (wow, nobody would believe that today!) and ask for the most expensive car. The dealer says, “She’s a beauty all right. Not sure if she will start. But she’s the best I got! ”
And we know we’ve got the best running the government! Take our Treasury Secretary. In his first big test last week, the tax-challenged Tim Geithner rolled out “Tarp 2, the Sequel.” And what a cringe-worthy performance. They all say he is brilliant. But I guess he does not test well.
Watching his press interviews kind of gave me the feeling of what it would be like if, say, if Barney Fife was running Homeland Security. Oh, better not give anyone ideas. People come and go from this cabinet so quickly! With apologies to Yogi Berra, we’re going to have our third Commerce Secretary, before we’ve had our first one.
And everyone knows when the going gets tough, the tough get out of town…
President Obama hit the road hoping to avoid being strangled by the Beltway, and to recreate that ole campaign magic with a few town hall meetings! Isn’t it easier when the questions are not coming from the White House Press Corps? We know the President loves hoops, but I think he now favors softballs.
I know by now some may be thinking, WWHD, What Would Hillary Do? In fact, I am sure Hillary’s thinking that. Yes, the Secretary of State is making her first trip abroad. You get the feeling she wants to get as far away on Earth from this plan as possible! She wound up in Asia. I guess the space shuttle was not available!
You know perhaps now “I’m” being too negative. President Obama got his major program passed faster than any other newly elected president in recent memory. And there’s more to come.
Remember, Brody was right. The shark ripped the cage to pieces. But Hooper and the Chief did survive. As will the economy. If not, you got any better suggestions?
Dick Brennan
Dbfox5news@aol.com