Editor's Note: With this edition of The Queens Courier, we are pleased to introduce a new regular monthly column called “Ask the Alzheimer's Expert,” where professionals from the New York City Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association will answer questions from our readers.
BY JED LEVINE
Q: My mother has Alzheimer's disease. How can our family make sure that the holiday season is a happy and safe one for all of us?
A: The holiday season can be a difficult time for those with Alzheimer's disease and their families, particularly as you try to cope with the emotional pain of living with loved ones who can't participate in family traditions the way they once did.
Caregivers frequently use the holidays as benchmarks and compare what the Alzheimer's patient could do last year on Christmas or Hanukkah.
For instance, they often think, “Dad always loved trimming the tree or shopping for a special present for mom, and now he can no longer do that.” It's important that you deal with the sadness that comes with this realization.
Moreover, while you should lower your expectations - encourage your mother's strengths.
What can your mom still do - what does she still enjoy doing?
Can she sing Christmas Carols? Enjoy a latke at Hanukkah? Can she help with the annual Christmas card routine? Perhaps your mom may not be able to write the holiday cards, but maybe she can stuff the envelopes or put the colorful seals on the backs.
Don't be afraid to ask for help for yourself. In order to take care of your mom, you must remain healthy. Ask a friend or family member to stay with her for an afternoon so you can go shopping or maybe even get your hair done.
Can someone provide you with a few meals that can be re-heated? Ask some neighbors to help you decorate the house or put up the tree. (Remember, depending on the stage of the dementia, blinking lights or new furniture arrangements to accommodate decorations might be a problem for the person with Alzheimer's.)
Most important during this stressful time of year, you MUST take care of yourself. Visit our website www.alznyc.org or call our 24-hour helpline, any day of the year: 1-800-272-3900. There is always a caring and informed person at the other end of the line to help you.
Jed Levine is the executive vice president and director of programs and services for the Alzheimer's Association, New York City Chapter. If you have a question for Jed, please send it to expert@alznyc.org.
