By Alex Berger
Life is a flower of which love is honey. — Alex
Don’t look for a Lover. Be one. — Alex
Falling in love is wonderful. Staying in love is even better. — Alex
Happiness is being married to your best friend. — Alex
Today is Valentine’s Day. If you don’t have a gift for me, tomorrow is moving day. — Gloria
Feb. 14 is Valentine’s Day, the time to compliment your beloved. But what is “love,” you ask? Simple question to answer! It is when you hear bells ringing, feel butterflies fluttering and act as though you have bees in your bonnet. Just like Gloria and me. She recently went on a diet, so I got her what was a love-full Valentine gift. I sent her a lettucegram instead of a Valentine’s Day card. Now that is real love.
Yes, Valentine’s Day has become the most perfect time to tell that most perfect someone that you care, in the most perfect way. That perfect someone may be your spouse or your sweetheart. A friend, a teacher, parents, children, and even a pet have also been known to be beneficiaries of bestowed affection. Love has no parameters and everyone can and should spread it around. However, I suggest that you limit your love strictly to a member of the human species and not, for instance, to an edible, like a lobster, or to super heroes, like Spiderman.
No one knows for certain how Valentine’s Day began. Some think it may have come from an ancient Roman festival called “Lupercalia” which was celebrated on Feb. 14. During this romantic period, hearts fluttered and expressions of love filled the air.
Others say that it goes back to a historical figure, appropriately named Valentine (who has since become the patron saint of flowers, florists, candy companies and divorce lawyers). He was thrown into jail and subsequently beheaded by the Romans because he refused to worship their gods. I guess that is why lovers are said to “lose their heads” when they fall in love.
Valentine befriended the jailer’s daughter and sent a farewell letter to her on the eve of his execution, signing it “from your Valentine.” It’s fortunate that his name was Valentine and not Lifschitz. Who would want to send a St. Lifschitz card to anyone?
St. Valentine loved children and they loved him. His young friends visited him in prison quite frequently. They threw messages to him through the windows of his jail cell. It was a reminder that they had not forgotten him. By this use of the first air mail delivery, the children expressed their love via the written word. This was the first “valentine” ever sent to a loved one.
However, some consider the apple Eve gave to Adam to be the original, non-verbal, Valentine’s Day greeting. If so, I think that was most unromantic. Eve should have first given Adam a friendship handshake before committing herself with an apple.
Another romantic story links the Valentine’s Day origin to birds. Long ago, people living in England believed that birds picked their mates on Feb. 14. And so, many people chose that day to send sweet messages of love to each other. I say that story is strictly for the birds. Can you imagine what the noise level would be if all the birds in the world fell in love with one another on the same day? Their chirping and carryings-on would be louder than President Bush and the Democrats discussing our current American economy.
Incidentally, I first met Gloria on Feb. 22 (George Washington’s birthday), eight days after Valentine’s Day. I was lucky. That stroke of good timing saved me the price of a Valentine’s Day card.
One Valentine’s Day, Gloria wanted something with diamonds, so I bought her a deck of cards.
Realistically, however, does it really matter how the custom of sending valentines began? What really matters is that Valentine’s Day presents a wonderful opportunity for people to tell one another how much they mean to each other. As Frank Tyger, the noted author, once said: “The worst handicap is to be unloved; the second worst handicap is to be unloving.” He hit the nail right on the heartstring!
A favorite Valentine’s Day story of mine involved the late, great actress Helen Hayes and her husband, Charles McArthur. On their wedding day (they were married on St. Valentine’s Day), moneyless McArthur handed his new bride a bag of peanuts. “I wish they were a bag of diamonds instead,” he told her. On their 50th wedding anniversary, McArthur handed Hayes a bag of diamonds and said “I wish they were a bag of peanuts instead.”
St. Valentine’s Day is not a legal holiday, nor in most churches is it a religious holiday. Yet, it is a very important day in our personal calendars. So, hug, smooch and kiss that someone special. Go on and tell that person how much he or she means to you. However, if it is not your spouse or your current sweetheart fuhgeddaboudit! I don’t want to hear about it.
Remember — to love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. So, all you romantics out there have a happy Valentine’s Day.
Ich lebe dich (German); Se Agapo (Greek); Ich lieb dier (Yiddish); Tu amore (Italian); Je t’aime (French); Te amo (Spanish); Ik houn vanjoun (Dutch); and Seni sevi yorum (Turkish) all mean “I Love You.”
Gloria and I wish you all a special and Happy Valentine of love. Amore!
Reach columnist Alex Berger by e-mail at TimesLedger@aol.com or call 229-0300, Ext. 140.
