It was a sad moment when I opened the email telling me of the passing of dear “WOW” friend Mary Butler.
I know people question if there are angels on earth, but I am convinced there are — Mary is proof.
I had the blessing of getting to know her when my dearest friend, Queens Borough President Claire Shulman, and I were part of a group of powerful women in Queens who called ourselves “THE WOWS.” We met for dinner monthly, always around a round table at one of our favorite Queens restaurants, to talk, laugh, exchange gossip and just relish and mentor each other.
Mary, who never learned to drive, caught a monthly ride to our WOW dinners with powerhouse “girlfriends,” western Queens’ Gloria D’Amico — who mentored Queens Michael Gianaris when he had just graduated Harvard who she felt was the future, so she encouraged him to run for the state senate, where he is now its leader — Athena and her husband George Onorato and Gloria Aloise, leaders of the powerful Taminent Democratic Club.
I can still see Mary with her kind demeanor singing my praises for running a newspaper — I think I only had the Queens Courier at the time she became my cheerleader.
She adored her husband, Assemblyman Denis Butler, and children Kathleen, Denis and Thomas as she did their spouses and grandchildren, always sharing her joy of them. For the many years of our friendship, I never heard an unkind word from her about anyone, just kind and generous wishes with a beautiful smile.
It was a sweet time where friendships and fierce loyalty to each other prevailed.
Helen Sears, one of the WOW “sisters” — yes, we felt like sisters to each other — ran for City Council and although I never endorsed candidates or one party over the other, through loyalty, I did endorse Helen and I’m happy to report she won that race and many after; it was the sisterly thing to do.
Claire Shulman was Queens Borough President for 16 years and never missed a dinner. In fact, our group’s dinners continue. I cherish each one and I was so grateful for Claire’s mentorship. It was a precious relationship that gave us both joy.
While looking through some old photos recently, I found pictures of my wedding shower my WOW friends gave me at Claire’s home. We shared good times, but also sad ones. I remember the last time I held Gloria D’Amico’s hands just days before she passed from an illness.
That’s what relationships are about. True friends are there when the rains come, not just for the sunny days.
Mary, you will be missed.
On another note, my son Josh celebrated his birthday on Nov. 2 and all three of my children and their children gathered in Brooklyn Heights for lunch. The kids were at one end of the table and we adults at the other — they were all so loving to each other and enjoying each other.
It was Josh’s birthday and we brought him many gifts, but seeing them with each other was my gift; after all, he was born from me, so it’s kind of my birthday, too.
I can remember as if it was yesterday, his being born.
I had all four of my kids by cesarean section and I had a prenatal appointment to check up on his lung development, a sign he was safe to be born. Instead, the doctor came out and said we had to do the operation right away, as there was a sign of distress in the meconium fluid being brown. I was rolled in the operating room and within the hour, my fourth redheaded child was born. Hooray!
What a gift he is and I’m so grateful for the special relationship we have built, being in business together. I burst with pride seeing what a wonderful brother, husband and father he is.
I feel our lives are enriched by the relationships we have. My hope is that after the election, we can get back to building respectful relationships with people with diverse opinions.
After our recent media acquisitions — 10 weekly publications in Nassau County and the Great South Bay monthly born from our Fire Island News region — our presence on Long Island has grown, as has our expanded website, longislandpress.com. Sign up — it’s free!
More enduring relationships will begin. After all, isn’t that what life is all about?
Knee replacement tips
My friend is having her knee replaced this week and she asked me for advice. Given my recent experience, I quickly learned our doctors and their teams don’t prepare us enough. So I put together my tips for her.
- Buy or rent a recliner chair. It was my bed for weeks.
- Get an electric device to move your mattress up and down. It’s an enormous help to relieve the pain.
- Write a list of the drugs you need to take and take them with breakfast, lunch and dinner. Taking the medication with food helps to avoid nausea.
- Drink prune juice and eat prunes.
- Eat fresh pineapple. It helps with inflammation.
- Take pain pills, and more pain pills and more pain pills. My knee felt like a blow torch was on it; the idea is to take the pills before the pain comes.
- Drink a lot of water.
- Take a sleeping pill to help you rest.
Anyone have anything to add to this list?
Love to you, my dear readers.
