By David J. Glenn
Perhaps it's something in the water, but it seems that being in Queens prompts some people to create – and star in – cabaret-style shows about themselves.
Just as Douglaston native Jennifer Macaluso, who has been profiled in Qguide, is completing her Manhattan run of “Dysfunctional Love Stories,” another Queensite, Mitchell Glazer of Little Neck, is getting ready for his “It's Definitely Going to Happen – Maybe” show at the New York Comedy Club at 3 p.m. Sundays, March 11 and 25.
Glazer has wanted to perform on stage “ever since I was one of 4,726 people in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade” a few years back, he recalled in a Qguide interview. More specifically, he wants to “perform in a tuxedo in front of an appreciative audience.” This is what is definitely going to happen – maybe, he tells guests who meet with him “at my kitchen table” at the New York Comedy Club.
Glazer is trying to break into show business perhaps a little late in life – he's “at the tender age of 49 and a half,” he says in the show's advance notice – and he's planning to bring to the New York Comedy Club “entertainment for the young, old, and anyone in between. Let's have a toast to good times that last forever.”
Glazer spends a good part of the show talking about his frustrating love life: After a 17-year marriage, he and his wife divorced five years ago – the same year he was laid off as a controller at Macy's – and Glazer was plunged back into the single-and-looking life, which he's not crazy about. “I've been through it all – the personal ads, the singles dances,” but he hasn't clicked with anyone yet.
The dances are particularly exacerbating, he said. Women on the hunt come armed with a long list of questions, either direct or implied, about his income and lifestyle, and “if you get one question wrong, there's no partial credit. You fail the test.”
On one blind date, the woman asked him if he had any children. “I said, 'No, but I have Beanie Babies.'” When she gave him a look of incredulity, he quipped “What, do you think I abuse them?”
She laughed, but then she asked how many he had – it was 80 – and whether he slept with them. “No,” he told her, “they have their own room.”
He had another date with the girl, and he was tempted to bring some Beanie Babies along. He didn't, but it was their last date, anyway.
Admission for “It's Definitely Going to Happen – Maybe” at the club at 241 East 21st St. between 2nd and 3rd avenues, is $20, which includes soft drinks and finger-wrap sandwiches. Call 212-696-5233.
