NOT FOR NUTHIN’ – Reality check for celebs

By Joanna P. DelBuono

I can only watch so many parades, bowls and home improvement shows before I break out in a rash, so every now and then I shut down the tube and read. Over this past long New Year’s weekend, I was reading one of the many magazines that routinely find their way to my living room coffee table. I never know how they get there, but there they are nevertheless, new ones sprouting up every day. Anyway, after reading the latest installment on a star’s life — this particular magazine covered an interview with Jennifer Garner, star of stage and screen, wife of Ben Affleck and mother of one-year-old Violet – I really have to comment. I don’t know which caused my teeth to ache more, the questions or the cutesy answers. It’s not Garner in particular that caused the pain. It’s just the general sugar-coated dreck that spewed. The Interviewer: “What are you doing now? What have you done in the past? And what do you plan on doing in the future? How is it being a star and being a parent? How is it being married?” The Interviewee: “Well, you know, I’ve done some great movies in the past and I am currently working on a fascinating Indie about saving tin foil.” Not, for nothing but do they really have to do Indies and are they really all that fascinating? “After that I plan on taking some time off to recoup my resources – you know this acting is really exhausting stuff, after memorizing my script I had to actually go out there and do the scene – Imagine that – do the scene over and over again, because this particular director is really a stickler for perfection – three or four takes are simply just not enough. I am simply exhausted. And being a mom too – really takes its toll.” Have you ever noticed that the interviewee never answers in full sentences, either? All these celebrities are so full of themselves – just once I’d like to see one of them really give an honest interview. “Well – It’s really great to have all this money and not have to toil at a 9 to 5 job five days a week just to survive, like the rest of your shlubs. “And you know – since I’ve become a star it’s really great to have all these hangers-on jumping at my every whim. And I especially like that fact that I no longer have to worry about how I’m going to pay the bills and all those creditors calling me day and night. ” Wouldn’t it be nice to have them conduct an interview with honest to god – low down nothing but the truth truthful answers? Real reality. What a concept. E-mail “Not for Nuthin’” at JoannaD@courierlife.net. All letters become the property of Courier-Life Publications and are subject to publication unless otherwise specified; please include your name, address and daytime telephone number for verification.

More from Around New York