Happy New Year! I am sure you are thinking and hearing a lot about resolutions as you do every late December and early January. You may have even had relationship resolutions in the past. Maybe even every year. Well let this year be different! Instead of thinking of New Years Resolutions let’s talk about New Year Actions. One is much more apt to take action then to simply adhere to resolutions.
The following are the top 5 Actions for the New Year to create the relationship you desire:
1. See it, smell it, hear it – In order to create ANYTHING in your life you must first envision it. Take 25 minutes of uninterrupted time. Turn off the TV, all phones and create some quiet time where you can imagine the relationship you want. Close your eyes and ask yourself these questions. Be sure to answer them with detailed SPECIFICS –
Who do I want to meet?
What are the qualities that are most important to me?
How do I want to feel in this relationship?
What are my non-negotiables?
Try to actually picture yourself in this relationship. Where are you? What do you see, smell, hear? Be as specific as possible and let the joy of this relationship pulse through your body.
2. Put it down on paper or in pictures – Now that you have the image clearly in your head, put it down on paper. There is a power in taking what you imagine in your head and putting it down on paper. It solidifies it and takes it a step closer to reality. It’s also fun to go through magazines, cut out pictures and words that represent the relationship you desire and glue them to paper. This is a great way to keep your vision alive in your eye as well as your minds eye. Either way commit to put it down on paper and then place it somewhere you can see it each and every day. The more often you can put this into your mind the sooner you will see it in your life.
3. Date Night – Don’t wait for the right relationship to start planning and enjoying date nights. Create an evening that is filled with your favorite things to do. Get dressed up and take yourself to that new restaurant you’ve been dying to try, buy yourself flowers and cook your favorite dinner, take a bubble bath, go see that movie you keep promising yourself you’ll see. Create a perfect evening for yourself. Now commit to doing this once a week and do it! By doing for yourself what you want to share with another you are already bringing it into your life which will attract more and more of it to you. You are also creating the space for that relationship. If you are too busy for yourself, how will you make time for someone else? Plus it feels good so start practicing now!
4. Experience to Learn – Try some new ways of meeting people and go for it with a new attitude. Try online dating or speed dating or matchmaking or try asking people out more often. But do it with a new attitude. Instead of focusing only on meeting “the one,” focus on creating the opportunity to overcome your fears, focus on how to talk to new people, focus on creating momentum, focus on making mistakes and learning. If you shift your focus then each time you venture out, it will be a success rather then measuring success on whether or not you’ve met the love of your life. The more success you feel, the more you’ll want to keep doing it and the more you do it the sooner you will find the love of your life.
5. Ask for Referrals – This is common practice in business but too uncommon in the search for love. This new year make a list of people you know (friends, colleagues, doctors, hair stylists, other moms and dads) and ask if they know someone that you may like. Share with them the top 5 qualities that you are looking for and see if they know anyone who might fit the bill. Don’t be shy. People love to help other people but you need to make it easy for them. Don’t assume that all your friends know you want to be set up and don’t assume just because you asked a year ago that they still remember or that it’s top on their mind. People’s lives are busy. It’s not their priority but it is yours so take the initiative and ask for referrals.
Make a commitment to get started with these five actions right away. Don’t put it off! Email me at Elizabeth@ejoycoaching.com and let me know how it’s going for you. Share your successes and your challenges.
Happy New Year and here is to a year filled with the love you desire!
Much love,
Elizabeth
