By Tom Allon
I watched a documentary the other night about President John F. Kennedy and I was struck by how well he was able to connect with voters. Even when he was receiving a long line of well-wishers, he seemed to listen to each one intently.
We could all learn a lesson from Kennedy and other political leaders like him. In fact, in this age of constant distraction, mostly driven by technology, deep listening to others is a dying art that needs to be revived.
Our new mayor-elect, Bill de Blasio, is an impressive listener and that came through even in his body language as he campaigned and bent his 6-foot-5 frame down to better listen to potential voters. His deep empathy, articulated through his vow to tackle growing inequality, is also an important part of his success thus far.
Many people have said that a large part of President Bill Clinton’s success was attributable to his listening and empathy skills. When you speak to him, many have told me, he treats you like you are the only person in the room. And he famously “felt our pain.”
This is a great skill and the only two people I have ever met in the New York political arena who are also good at this are Gov. Andrew Cuomo and de Blasio.
Mayor Mike Bloomberg was an excellent mayor on so many levels, but listening and empathy were not his greatest skills. But Police Commissioner Ray Kelly did recently say that Bloomberg’s great sensitivity and empathy came through when he visited injured police.
Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani found his “inner empathizer” Sept. 11, 2001, and his ability to feel and help heal our collective shock and pain made him appealing in that tragedy’s aftermath.
But now the baton passes to de Blasio, so it will be interesting to see if his ability to listen and empathize will translate into a successful mayoralty. There’s no doubt that many people in this city have felt left out or “not heard” the past few decades, and de Blasio represents new hope for them.
I think there’s a lesson to be gleaned from all this. Feeling heard is an important thing in life. Those who are able to really tune out all the noise and distractions of modern society and give people their undivided attention are becoming more prized these days.
It’s a lesson we should all heed. Listen, reflect back to the speaker and show empathy.
Here’s hoping it works for you as well as it has worked for people like Clinton, Cuomo and de Blasio.
Tom Allon, president of City & State NY, was a Republican and Liberal Party-backed mayoral candidate in 2013 before he left to return to the private sector. Reach him at tallon@cityandstateny.com.
