THE TEXTING TRAP

“Wait at least another 10 minutes before texting him back” her guy friend warned her after she received a disappointing one-word response from her ‘possibility’ guy. Mind games can be so exhausting, especially when playing them over a series of text messaging. Fighting the urge to text back, to put in a 🙂 to spice things up, she closed the phone and waited.
However, with all of this cyber confusing conversation (or convo if you will), are our text messages being misinterpreted? Is text messaging beginning to take precedence over actual in-person conversation? With girls and guys already so misunderstood by each other, texting complications are bound to ensue.
The girl with the texting dilemma is none other than me. As much as I try not to over-analyze things, texting guys that I don’t really know always leaves much up for interpretation, confusion, and messaging mix-ups.
I met this guy a few weeks ago and we got along great in person. We had so many things in common, he understood my sarcastic humor, and I loved the fact that he was more mature than most guys. So, of course, we exchange numbers, we go on a date, and, at the end of the date, he speaks those two fate-sealed words - “text me.” So I did. But he did not.
What did I say wrong? Was the winky face too much? Maybe I was too enthusiastic with my ‘!’ or maybe he didn’t catch that the second part of the text message was a joke? I waited and waited and still no response. I decided that he must not have liked me because he did not text back and so I vowed not to text him ever again, that is, until he texted me two weeks later.
In addition, I am ashamed to say, that I was once again won over by a text as simple as “I really miss you ;-).” I try to play aloof with terse responses, but then I fall into the texting trap and am soon once again anxiously checking my phone to see if he responded.
This texting relationship ensues for the next month, with him stringing me along with text messages, me forgetting how he acts in person, and him constantly scheduling and breaking plans with me through his phone’s powerful keypad.
After one too many text messages I have finally learned that texting is no way to get to know a person. It is a shame how my generation now values communicating through text messages as much as they value talking on the phone or in-person.
We girls misinterpret text messages and let their meanings drive us crazy. When Clear Lake High school junior Madison Hurwitz gets a ‘ ;-)’ from a guy, she interprets it as “he must really like me, I make him smile.” However, on the contrary when Zac Rasmussen, also a junior at Clear Lake sends a girl a smiley face, he is just throwing it in for good measure. “It is just a nice way to end the text message, just because I send a girl a smiley face doesn’t mean I like her. I just send it like I would send an exclamation point - so she knows I am in a good mood.”
“If I really like a girl, I will call her, not text,” said Zac.
Now I know (thanks to Zac) if a guy likes me enough, he will call me or actually see me in person.
Guys and girls both text one thing and mean another. To test the ambiguousness of texts, I asked guys what they meant by some common text phrases, and I asked girls how they interpreted them.
For example when a guy texts “I really miss you,” we think he means, “I like you and want to potentially date you in the future.” Really, he is just thinking “I haven’t seen her in a while; I wonder what she has been up to.”
When a guy texts that he “wants to hangout really soon” he means, “maybe I will see you at a group hangout in the future and I will talk to you there.” We take it to mean, “I want to schedule a definite date within the next week where we can hang out one-on-one.”
Texting is a great way to communicate with friends and family when you have quick questions or you are not in a place where you can talk. However, texting is dangerous too. It causes driving distractions and 23 states have introduced legislation that will ban people from texting while driving.
Therefore let us put down our phones, leave the cyber world, and re-enter reality again, where things are “what you see is what you get.’” So, please don’t ever again text to me in that tone of font, because I will no longer be swayed by the deceptive “;-).”